quotable quotes #080501

"So, we're going to have to take a blood test too. Is that ok?"
"Yes. But I will kick your nurse."

"I think that woman is trying to hand out dried fish to strangers"

"Do they hate us because we're new, or are they just bitter about their RSL hairstyles?"

"I don't believe you. I'm willing to put money on this. Fifty bucks. You in?"
"No, cos I'm lying through my teeth"

"I become a totally different person with makeup on. I become very aware of my head."

(Pastel pink station wagon drives past)
"I want to kill that person"

"The bible says so."
"Really?"
"Well, I'd have to write it in with this texta first, but yeah."

"Ruching makes things look like va jay jay... especially pink things. I wonder if it's a part of gynoplasty... 'reupholstering', if you will. Whenever you think of Tonia Todman, think of her as a spokesperson for gynoplasty"
"She does like to ruche things..."
"She'll jump out of a gigantic rouched fake cake and sing a song about gynoplasty - 'If your twat is tight, and your curtains droop, pay the way to have them ruched!'"

"I downloaded all of The Immaculate Collection the other day - I have never owned Madonna before!"
"...and you actually still don't."

"No no... yoga is good!"
"Well. It works for Madgina"
"Indeed. And Jennifer Aniston, no?"
"No. She fellates beelzebub."
"That's a terrible thing to call Vince Vaughn!"
"I don't really think beelzebub would take the form of an unwashed plumber, do you?